My First Week On Reddit

I’d heard about Reddit but didn’t know much about it. I even had an account there that I’d never used. I admit, I didn’t understand the site that well.

I was researching where to submit short stories and came up a few podcast that publish stories in audio. I find this very interesting. There was a podcast called No Sleep that had two such stories nominated for parsec awards. So I checked them out. Turns out the podcast stems from a subreddit called NoSleep. Writers can submit stories to the subreddit, but there are a few rules. They have to be more or less of the horror variety (right up my alley) and they have to be told as if they were real stories. They aren’t required to be real. Who could prove that anyway? But they must be told in first person and even in the comments you must stay in the character that you wrote the story in.

I have a story that I thought would work nicely. I submitted it and … nothing. Turns out there was something wrong with my account and I needed to create a new one. I resubmitted and … nothing.

It was a flash piece that I posted her last week called Outside. I thought it was good. So did my girlfriend who actually told me that should be the story that I submitted. People just didn’t find it interesting I guess. At first I took the blow to my ego pretty hard. The “I’m a good writer, right?”, the “I suck and should just leave the story telling to the professionals”, the “What do they know, they are reading stories from a website.”

On a fluke, I posted another story. It’s one that I didn’t know would do very well at all. I have some reservations about it and, to be honest, I hadn’t edited. I did this really early in the day and left it until later that night without checking on it.

When I got back to it I was a little overwhelmed by the positive response. It was one of the top new stories on the subreddit and there were so many comments I didn’t know how I was going to reply to them all. NoSleep has a monthly contest and I was motivated enough to enter the story. We’ll see how that comes out.

While dealing with those ups and downs, I got to know reddit and little bit and Wow! There’s a little bit of everything there and something for everyone.

Oh, and after the awesome response I got to Joey (I’ll post it here soon), I decided to repost Outside again to see if it would be better received and … nothing. It’s either not as good as I thought it was or that’s just not the right audience.

Like they say, “You can’t please them all.”



This is a bit of flash fiction from me. I got the idea from a prompt on a writer’s website that I can’t recall at the moment.
Anyway, let me know what you think.

It’s like a force of nature, grief. It sweeps over you like a storm, freezes you with its chill, buries you in its shifting memories and emotions, and holds you down like gravity. I can say part of me was actually a little surprised by the impact of hearing of Wayne’s death. But another part, deeper, buried beneath layers of scar tissue, wasn’t surprised at all. Not after Kelsey, anyway. Nothing surprised me after her.

The real surprise that night came as a pecking. A tap-tap-tap on my bedroom window. I ignored it at first. It was a branch against the window. The house settling. Hell, my overactive and stressed imagination. I even tried to tell myself it was Igor’s tail slapping against the leg of the bed. But I knew better on some level, especially with Igor. He’d taken up a new sleeping post by Kelsey’s crib these last few weeks.

Did I know what the tapping really was though, deep down, did I know what was already beginning to happen?

After a few minutes and several more taps, I rubbed at tired eyes and sat up. There was a silhouette showing through my bedroom window. A silhouette I knew, or I thought I knew. What I knew to be true and what I was seeing, pressed against each other in my mind.

I slid legs that didn’t want to move from the bed and tried to place my feet on the floor of my bedroom as quietly as possible although I had no idea why. The tapping came again, and a chill ran up my spine at the same time a fire lit inside me. I needed to know, I needed to see. I hurried to the window, but my hand paused on the curtain covering it.

Kelsey. If who I thought was behind this curtain, was behind this curtain, I felt certain I knew what it meant for me. But what of my daughter. I’d told Wayne I’d leave him if he hurt me and I did, but what if he’d hurt my daughter? What if he’d come back for Kelsey like he’d threatened. Last I saw him before he died, he told me if I left him he come back and take her from me.

I pulled back the curtain. His smile was bright and there were tears in his eyes.

I didn’t know how or why, and I didn’t care. Somehow he was alive. He was alive, and he’d come here to kill me and take my baby. I closed the curtain and ran to my bedside table to get the gun. Before I’d gotten to the top of the steps I heard him pounding on the door. I checked the clip and switched off the safety while descending the stairs. I wasn’t taking any chances.

I could see his shadow through the window at the side of the door. I thought of shooting through it, but there was too great a chance I’d only scare him away only to have to face him another day in another way I  was less prepared for.

He banged on the door again but said nothing. Aiming the gun at the door I reached forward and pulled back the door chain. He must have heard it because his pounding increased. I flipped the deadbolt unlocked and backed away from the door, both hands now firmly holding the gun.

The pounding stopped. Nothing happened.

I don’t know how long I stood there, but I was holding the gun so tight my forearms ached. I took a step forward, and the doorknob turned. I stopped and waited. I heard the latch slide back scraping lightly against the strike plate. My finger squeezed on the trigger, waiting.

The door creaked, sliding open an inch at a time. Slow, no force behind it. I waited. There was no one behind it. He was playing some kind of game. He was hiding and baiting me out. Sweat beaded my forehead and a line of it ran and tickled at the side of my face. I stepped forward when the door was fully open. I stayed to the far right of it. No one stood outside in that direction. I scanned the other way. Careful to keep the aim up but not so far out from by body it could be grabbed. No one in either direction.

For a moment, one ridiculous moment, I wondered if I’d somehow imagined this whole thing. Then I saw him. He was in the yard hiding behind a tree. He peeked around at me but ducked back behind it.

“Wayne,” I called out, but I had nothing else to say. Could think of no threat and didn’t want to tell him to go. If he went I couldn’t kill him.

I stepped over the threshold he’d once carried me over and aimed the gun where I’d seen his head peek out.

Wayne was always a bully. Even when we’d first began dating but back then I could excuse it. Stupid little pranks like noogies, pinches, and hair pulling. And the one I hated most. Hitting me in the pit of my knee and making me fall.

That’s how I ended up lying on the porch. My body so tense I had no ability to catch myself. But something hit me in the pit of my knee and I went straight down. Lucky the gun didn’t go off.

When I turned to look back Wayne was standing inside the doorway. His silhouette nearly covering the entire doorway. All I could see of him was the white of his smile and a strange unnatural glint in his eye. The door slammed shut without him touching it.

Wayne was dead. He was inside my house. He had my baby.

This Is A Blog

Why am I not blogging?

I want to blog. I think about it at least once a day. Admittedly while reading someone else’s blog which helps to remind me . . . of blogging . . . And that I’m not blogging.

Sometimes I wonder if I have enough to say. I should, I’m a writer, right? I tell stories. I make them up. Should I put that on the blog? Or should I blog about the struggles of telling those stories? Should I blog about the process? The stumbles? The progress?

Should I blog?

I mean, I’d only do it once or twice a week. I would want to plan them out (not like this. This is just me typing out my thoughts while I wait for my frozen pizza to come out of the oven) I could tell true stories. Stories that inspired the ones that I make up. I don’t want to bitch and complain about life and all that jazz. Although, I do. I guess I don’t want to want to, if that makes sense.

Something I admire about some people, Kevin Smith comes to mind. They can be so completely honest. Spilling their thoughts and feelings out for anyone to see, hear, or read. I have trouble doing that. Not that I’m not an honest person. I guess I have trouble being an open person. (Oops I just did it) I’m a private person. I’ve had close friends that don’t believe that. I guess I’m open to a point, but there is so much that I don’t let out. I guess everyone is like that to a point.

I’m getting way off track here. Was I even on a track?

Oh, yeah, blogging. Well here’s one. We’ll see what happens next week.

My Guest Blog

Hey, I know I haven’t posted for awhile and this is one of the reasons. Guest blogging is hard work. Anyway, I did this for another of the Wicked Wordsmithians (hey, new word) at her blog Marble’s Words. But you’ll learn all about that below and maybe a little more about me.

Take it away Marsha!!

Because authors don’t always sit alone in dark rooms, feverishly clicking away at their keyboard or scribbling in notebooks, I’m inviting other author friends to drop by and talk about their writing.

My first guest author of 2015 is fellow Wicked Wordsmith of the West writer, Brent McGuffin! Check out his blog and follow him on Facebook or on Twitter @themcguffin.

Q: Who are you?
A: Who me? Why, what did I do? Oh, wait, okay. I’m Brent McGuffin.

Q: What have you wrote?
A: Well, lots of things. Like just earlier I wrote my name. I wrote a couple of little stories in an anthology last year around Halloween (Hey Marsha, you were there too!!). It’s called Wicked Words and you can find it here (Shameless Self Promotion). I’ve written loads of other things. A couple of books about a three year old girl who can see spirits who have passed on. A crazy amount of short stories. I’m working on two books right now, a YA Zombie Apocalypse story (I know, zombies, right?) and I’m finishing up my NaNo novel which is a supernatural story about a couple of guys who return home to find a cult has been kidnapping children, but why? Oh, and my zombie cookbook!!

Q: What is your writing process like?
A: I usually just string words together that I type into this tiny machine. In the past, I would just write when I could. Usually late at night after the world has gone to sleep and I could focus on what goes bump in the night. That worked with varying degrees of success. Sometimes 2000 words, sometimes 200. However, during this last year’s NaNo I figured out during one of our Write-Ins that I got more out in timed sprints than I did in marathons. Meaning that writing for 15 to 20 minutes and then breaking for a breather and then going in again resulted in me getting more words (and often better words) on the page in nearly the same amount of time. So, I started putting this into my daily writing. I also started writing at different times of the day, morning, afternoon, and evening. Whenever I could find a block of time where I could get some words in. And I wrote more that month than I’ve ever written. Yay me!! I finished out Nano with over 70,000. I think the reason for this was that I was less stressed and creatively fatigued. Also, I had time to give a treat to the muse I keep in a cage under my desk.

Q: Where do you get your ideas?
A: I steal them from other, more successful writers. I’m only half kidding. Everything has been done, sometimes you gotta. But more or less I get them from everywhere. Prompts, seeing people walk down the street, an old episode of The X-Files, the muse I keep in a cage under my desk, a trip to the pharmacy at Wal-Mart. Everywhere. Oh, and shame on you for even asking that question.

Q: If you could hang out with one author (dead or alive) for a day, who would it be and why?
A: Another crazily unfair question!! There are too many. But, gun to my head, Stephen King. Why? He’s Stephen Freaking King. There’s a reason he’s the king and it’s not just because his daddy married his mommy and they loved each other in a tight love-hug to make him and gave him the name. He never ceases to amaze and entertain me. I’d love to pick his brain…and talk to him about writing.

Q: Who is your favorite character you’ve written and why?
A: You are just full of the cruelest questions, Marsha. What did I ever do to you? Oh, wait…
Again, gun to my head, I’d have to say Jo from my little girl sees dead people novel, Kyriel (Coming Soon). She’s sassy, spunky, fearless, and loyal and tons of fun to write. I can’t wait to share that book with people and she’s one of the top reasons.

Q: What’s next for you?
A: You mean after finishing this cruel test of yours? Breakfast. Oh, you mean as a writer? More writing. We have another anthology planned this year, so that’s fun. I also plan on getting some professional editing on the books that I have done and try to get them out by traditional publishing and if nothing bites, I’ll go the self-publishing route. I also need to finish up last year’s NaNo novel and I have another novel I’m ready to start when that’s finished about a killer vigilante who is kind of like the lovechild of Batman and Sheriff Buford Pusser.

Q: What book other than your own would you want to see made into a movie? What book do you hope is never made into a movie? Why?
A: Hmm, I just finished a book last week by Caroline Kepnes called YOU. If done right it would be amazing. I couldn’t help but imagine what it would look like as a movie. Also, Joe Hill’s NOS4A2. That would be crazy fun on the big screen.

Sadly, most of the books that I hope aren’t made have already been made. The good and the bad. But I still hold out hope that Taken by the T-Rex remains only on the page.

Q: What advice would you give to other writers?
A: STOP! Go back! This way only leads to pain and suffering!! If that didn’t deter you. NEVER GIVE UP!!

Q: What is the worst writing advice you ever received?
A: Write with your left hand. But other than that, I’m not sure that I’ve gotten any bad writing advice. Even when I didn’t agree with it or it turned out to be something that didn’t work out for me I still learned something about writing and about myself as a writer. I’ve had plenty of people tell me that I should be doing something else with my time or that I should write differently but I’ve had more people tell me that I should be a writer and that they liked the way I spun a yarn.

I hope you enjoyed this Q & A with Brent. Stay tuned for my February guest author! Who will it be?

So, there you have it. Marsha here post a lot more on her blog, you should check it out to see more writers tips and guest blog post and . . . and . . . other stuff.Who’s got time to read all of that? I don’t even have time to post. Seriously though, check her out.

Don’t You Know You’re Sleeping In A Spotlight

During Nano I came to a point in my story where I needed to have a character say a few weird things in his sleep. I’ve had a few of these experiences in the past that I wanted to use but I decided to ask the Official NanoWriMo Facebook page “Anyone want to give me some crazy things you’ve heard people say in their sleep?” to see if I could get a few examples from others. I was extremely surprised at the response. In all, over 170 folks chimed in with hilarious and creepy samples of somniloquy.

Me first: Two friends stayed over after an exhausting day.
Sleeping Friend 1: “Wow, I’m so thirsty.”
Sleeping Friend 2: “Hold on, I’ll get you something to drink.”

Another time I was trying to wake a friend who had fallen asleep in front of the TV.
“We have to stop them,” he said.
“The kids in the KISS make up with the dentist equipment.”

And here they are more or less in the order they were received with the names removed to protect the innocent.

My husband was sick with strep throat and said ‘get me a chicken in a bucket’ while sleeping. My daughter has sat up in bed and just laughed herself silly in her sleep.
November 26 at 6:23pm · Unlike · 3

My friend once said, “Extra extra EXTRA bricks…”
My ex-husband and I had this conversation (he was asleep, I was reading in bed)
Him:”Tell Clack (military friend) I’m sorry”
Me: “Uh what?”
“Just tell Clack I said I’m sorry!”
“I forgot his birthday and I feel bad. Tell Clack I’m sorry”
(I realize he’s asleep) “Okay, I’ll tell him”

*edit* It wasn’t even close to Clack’s birthday.
November 26 at 6:24pm · Edited · Unlike · 4

I am not a muffin was once screamed at me
November 26 at 6:46pm · Unlike · 7

Haha, my husband’s a Naval officer. He doesn’t usually swear at home…but I some nights he’ll chew people out in his sleep…I’ve learned some swear words I didn’t know existed!
November 26 at 7:04pm · Unlike · 4

My brother woke me up one night because he was calling out my name, like he needed help. My husband has had a full conversation with me while I was asleep, and I’ve had conversations with him too. Neither of us remember what we said in the morning.
November 26 at 7:05pm · Unlike · 3

I woke up in the middle of the night to find my boyfriend facing me with his eyes open. He goes, “Watch out, watch out, watch out. Watch out for the coming man.” And then I promptly shat the bed.

He says he was probably dreaming about work and saying “company man,” but I don’t believe him.
November 26 at 7:06pm · Unlike · 8

“I’m gonna eat that train”, apparently my wife dreams of being a kaiju
November 26 at 7:07pm · Unlike · 4

The biggest guy we knew as kids had night terrors and screamed
“BUNNIES!” with fear and loathing.
November 26 at 7:07pm · Unlike · 6

My brother called me on the phone one night, after I’d already dozed off. He got mad and hung up when I kept telling him about turtles…pink turtles, purple turtles…and the things they make for dinner.
November 26 at 7:07pm · Unlike · 6

My husband once said while sleeping, “Now that we are done hunting deer. We must fillet my wife.”
November 26 at 7:09pm · Unlike · 8

My husband said that his ex wife made him promise not to give her son bacon. She is a vegetarian, while she was asleep, she woke him up to say this. Wouldn’t leave him alone until he promised
November 26 at 7:09pm · Unlike · 2

“The walls are moving, OH GOD! …” few moments later, “That’s MY meatloaf!”
November 26 at 7:13pm · Unlike · 2

“I can drive a corn truck!”
November 26 at 7:14pm · Unlike · 3

“Do you see that giant spider on the ceiling?! It’s just, so, giant!!” And “call 911!”
November 26 at 7:15pm · Unlike · 1

I said that once, and I actually remember in a fog saying it I also once had an argument with my sister in my sleep where I told her to put her head back in her night shirt.l she asked me why I said Because turtles put their heads in when there is danger she goes “What are you talking about” and I said “Fine be stupid..” then back to sleep..
November 26 at 7:15pm · Unlike · 1

Once my sister was babbling about insurance in her sleep. Then she almost attacked me with a plush toy (she and I were kids at the time)
November 26 at 7:16pm · Unlike · 1

My ex used to leave the TV on all night, I once woke up to a tornado documentary on the weather channel and thought it was real and loaded everyone up on the downstairs bathroom before he woke me up. I also, apparently, yelled “turn God off” when an early Sunday morning evangelist started up but I don’t recall it.
November 26 at 7:17pm · Unlike · 4

My mother once told me that I (while sleeping in a hotel bed with her giant Labrador retriever) yelled out that “No, I didn’t want to eat the dog for dessert!”
November 26 at 7:19pm · Unlike · 3

“That’d be nice.”
November 26 at 7:19pm · Unlike · 1

This isn’t exactly crazy, but my brother-in-law will be asleep and my sister-in-law will tell him that he needs to go to bed, and he’ll sit there telling her he’s not asleep…in his sleep.
November 26 at 7:19pm · Unlike · 2

I’ve done some pretty weird things. My mum said I once shouted at her “Where is the Yu-Gi-Oh card?!” in my sleep when I was about 15.
I also stayed in a hotel with a friend once and screamed in the middle of the night “Oh my God, who puts something like THAT in a hotel room?” ‘That’ was an imaginary spider I thought I’d seen on the ceiling.
November 26 at 7:20pm · Unlike · 1

When I worked at McDonald’s I started taking orders in my sleep and arguing with customers.
November 26 at 7:20pm · Unlike · 3

Oh, that reminds me, I once also woke up in the middle of the night partway through saying “Please enter your PIN.” Retail. Argh.
November 26 at 7:21pm · Unlike · 4

I have a friend who, as a child, used to tell me about her dreams in her sleep. Weird dream stuff.
November 26 at 7:22pm · Unlike · 1

I once began laughing maniacally because I was having a dream about a disease called the Chinaman which caused people to laugh uncontrollably until they died.
November 26 at 7:26pm · Unlike · 7

My sister started speaking German in her sleep rather argumentatively, then reached over to the bed-stand, grabbed the lamp, hit herself on the head with it and woke up. I finally won the argument as to which one of us was the violent sleeper.
November 26 at 7:26pm · Unlike · 8

I heard someone say “spooky spooky spooky” in a really high voice. It was kind of funny LOL
November 26 at 7:28pm · Unlike · 1

There’s always the “I love you” to the woman before…. but also there’s work thoughts
November 26 at 7:31pm · Unlike · 1

My younger brother was sleeping on the couch one time when he started laughing and pointed, yelling, “Hey! Look at the Goomba!” He then laid back down and kept sleeping. It sounded like it started mid-sentence, and he was a high schooler at the time. Very.. video game dreams for a guy that age. XD

I still tease him about it.

He used to sleep on the couch all the time, and he talked in his sleep.. a lot. He could even hold conversations with us. Especially me. Probably because I knew exactly what he was talking about all the time.
But if I tried to hold a conversation about dinner or something mundane like that, it wouldn’t really register. It had to make sense in his dream. And if I’m asking about dinner in the real world, I’m not really acknowledging his dream world. Heh. XD
November 26 at 7:38pm · Unlike · 1

My sister had a friend that would talk about whatever you asked her to. In her sleep. We could also tell her to do things and she would. So weird.
November 26 at 7:38pm · Unlike · 2

Apparently my mum once caught me saying ‘push her out the window before anyone sees’

And not someone saying something but my dad woke my mum up by slapping her in the face as he sat up and flapped his arm in an attempt to fly…
November 26 at 7:40pm · Unlike · 4

I had an hour-long conversation with a friend on a phone while completely asleep. She said I was perfectly coherent. I didn’t remember any of it the next day, but my parents saw me lying on the bed talking on the phone, so it apparently happened. I also translated a whole document while asleep at my computer. It was perfectly coherent, yet completely unrelated to the original document. Very weird.
November 26 at 7:40pm · Unlike · 5

One of my teammates during my AmeriCorps internship sang opera in his sleep.
November 26 at 7:47pm · Unlike · 2

My boyfriend has fights in his sleep.
November 26 at 7:49pm · Unlike · 1

My six year old sister used to scream that the world was ending and we were all burning while she slept. Then one night she just stopped.
November 26 at 7:53pm · Unlike · 2

The girl who lived in the dorm room next door (we shared a half bath) told me that one night I was singing the alphabet song in French in my sleep.
November 26 at 7:55pm · Unlike · 5

When I asked what one girl said, my friend furiously replied in her sleep “She’s TRYING to write a sentence on the piano!!”
November 26 at 7:57pm · Unlike · 5

‘That’s a big damned monkey; knock it in the hole.’ I have no idea what he was dreaming about but it must have been good.
November 26 at 7:58pm · Unlike · 2

I once apparently sat straight up in bed during a sleepover and said, “the king will have roast duck for dinner.” And then lay back down.
November 26 at 7:58pm · Edited · Unlike · 9

One time, my brother yelled, “GET TO THE DOOR!” in an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.
November 26 at 8:08pm · Unlike · 4

I once gave my husband a list of chocolates to buy
November 26 at 8:15pm · Unlike · 4

My mom (who works main entrance at Disneyland) is notorious for sleep talking. One time I went to her room to wake her up and ask her a question and she sat up, moved her hands as if she were scanning a ticket and said “I’ll take your ticket and you can get your hand stamp at the gate” before falling back asleep.
November 26 at 8:17pm · Unlike · 5

I think I’m going to have to save this thread for a rainy day. So funny, I’m nearly crying with laughter :’) I’ve apparently murmured things about chocolate in my sleep (no surprises) and I’ve told someone to “**** off” too, but nothing half as funny as some of the other stuff here.
November 26 at 8:17pm · Unlike · 1

“Crunchy croutons!” I apparently said this while at a my first sleepover. I also said “I like birthdays.”
November 26 at 8:17pm · Unlike · 1

My husband goes to work in his sleep. Seriously, he’s (apparently) taken full orders for KFC before, (I didn’t know him when he worked at KFC) and I heard him have one half of a call with a customer when he worked for a phone company. The end of the call was something like, “Now that I have gone over your bill and done an engine pull, does were there any other questions for me, or does that resolve the reason for your call.”
November 26 at 8:17pm · Unlike · 1

My little sister also sleep sings. One time I nudged her to move over so I could have more room in bed and she started singing something to the tune of “I Dreamed a Dream”, just with entirely different words.
November 26 at 8:18pm · Unlike · 1

I went in to wake my husband for work one night and when I shook his arm and said his name, he jerked his arm away from me and said, “I don’t believe you’re an alligator so quit lying.”
November 26 at 8:20pm · Unlike · 7

My husband once shook me awake with an urgent “What was that?!?!” While staring off into a dark corner of the bedroom. I woke up in a panic, sat up, looked where he was looking and whisper-screamed “What? What is it?”

He laid down and started snoring. Went right back to sleep. I almost smothered him.
November 26 at 8:22pm · Unlike · 7

Way back when I used to work at a grocery store, and I had just started, I was having a dream about checking groceries, and half asleep I stole my husbands pillow and tried to scan it.
November 26 at 8:24pm · Unlike · 6

My husband also works in his sleep a lot….I have been yelled at for not leaving the right copies of a work order…..he has rattled off parts he needs right away….. He also randomly asks for things, and also “has” things he can not find….like the other night he was upset he couldn’t find his food from taco bell….he had not been to Taco Bell LOL
November 26 at 8:25pm · Unlike · 3

My little sister once did the commentary to a soccer game while asleep. I asked her who won the next morning, and she didn’t remember a thing.
November 26 at 8:26pm · Unlike · 1

My sister heard me clucking in my sleep one night when we were teenagers.
November 26 at 8:28pm · Unlike · 2

“It’s 9 o’clock and the chicken ain’t ready.”
“Would *you* want to go lay next to a dead person?”
“This boat could really use some water.”

Also, my stepdad would just laugh in his sleep for no apparent reason. Presumably, his dreams were hilarious.
November 26 at 8:31pm · Unlike · 3

My wife woke me up one night by saying, in a very calm, elevator computer voice, “Almost four. Time for some more. Thank you.” And then I woke her up laughing.
November 26 at 8:33pm · Unlike · 3

“In America… we measure our meat products”
November 26 at 8:35pm · Unlike · 4

My husband woke me up once frantically asking “Honey? Are you dead?!”
November 26 at 8:36pm · Unlike · 4

My wife and I literally played a game of golf in our sleep–when our friend was sleeping with us. She said something and I kept yelling, “Fore!”
November 26 at 8:38pm · Unlike · 1

My son’s most famous sleep babble was ‘don’t feed the cat raisins’
November 26 at 8:45pm · Unlike · 3

“Hand me a book to fart in!” My aunt Ginny said this when she was 10 or so. Also, my ex-husband would sit up in bed deep sea fishing screaming “Fish on!” Thank God I’m not alone!
November 26 at 8:46pm · Unlike · 3

“Put the oranges on the back porch.” – My best friend.
“Mum, dad get out there’s a fiiiiiiiiiiiire.” – My little bro.
November 26 at 8:46pm · Unlike · 1

“Don’t eat my strawberries! Those are for the giraffe.” – My best friend
November 26 at 8:47pm · Unlike · 1

“Don’t forget the doughnuts, Daddy!”
November 26 at 8:50pm · Unlike · 1

Well, I’m going to give you two anecdotes from my boarding school days:
First off, you must know we had to sleep in 3-level bunk beds and that the place resembled a Dickensian orphanage.
1. A girl from my dorm had recently lost her father and was once talking in her sleep; the girl in the bed right next to her woke up and wanted to check on her but said she saw a white figure between their beds, got scared, closed her eyes and waited til morning. The next day the sleep-talking girl said she had dreamed she was talking to her dad.
2. i used to sleep on the top level and a friend of mine (who used to sleep talk and sometimes sleep walk) slept on the bunk bellow mine. One morning a couple of our dorm mates told us we had scared them during the night, coz we were both talking; they said they first thought we were awake and just chatting, but then they noticed she was sleep-talking in Spanish and i was sleep-talking in English.

~not exactly what you asked for, but that’s all I’ve got.
November 26 at 8:56pm · Edited · Unlike · 3

“No, Katie, that’s my chair!”
…the weird part being that I’m the only Katie I know.
November 26 at 8:51pm · Unlike · 2

“It’s whiskers are brushing up against my shoulder.”
When she woke up my mom told me that she was in the woods being stalked by a big cat.
November 26 at 8:59pm · Unlike · 1

“No, don’t take my Bayblade” and “Pears? What’s the point?”
November 26 at 9:00pm · Unlike · 3

My three-year-old son: “I need traintracks. Thomas is hungry.”
November 26 at 9:02pm · Unlike · 6

I apparently sat bolt-upright and shouted, “Okay, everybody, this is what we’re gonna do,” and then proceeded to babble nonsense. I was ~12.
November 26 at 9:04pm · Unlike · 1

My sister said “Just feed the horses.” We definitely do not have any.
November 26 at 9:07pm · Unlike · 2

My fiance continues to profess to crimes that never occurred “I hope the police don’t find out about the bracelet I stole” etc
November 26 at 9:11pm · Unlike · 4

“Lobster, lobbbbster…” I was 12 and visiting grandparents in Florida. Where we had, you guessed it…
November 26 at 9:14pm · Unlike · 3

My 3 year old said no Emi its mine. Emi is her 5 year old sister and yes they take stuff from each other always
November 26 at 9:14pm · Unlike · 1

My husband cursed out someone he thought he was arresting. There was a lot of swearing that I’m not going to type
November 26 at 9:25pm · Unlike · 2

Welll….I once had a really bad nightmare, jolted awake, realized with relief it was only a dream and rolled over — THEN screamed my head off when I saw someone lying in the bed next to me…and my husband jolted awake going “WHAT?? WHAT???”….

We’d just started sleeping together, and I’d forgotten there was someone in the bed.
November 26 at 9:30pm · Edited · Unlike · 10

(Yelled, thus the all caps) “OUCH! THAT REALLY HURT!”
November 26 at 9:40pm · Unlike · 1

My husband was complaining that the lawn mower wouldn’t work. I asked him why and he said that the wheels were square
November 26 at 9:40pm · Unlike · 6

And “hello? Is anyone there? Hello anyone? Guys?” Then continued snoring…
November 26 at 9:41pm · Unlike · 1

One night when I was checking on my daughter she said, “Don’t lick the floor.” I thought that was pretty weird.
November 26 at 9:41pm · Unlike · 5

I said to my husband as he walked into the room, “Where is the Novocaine?” Sat up and shut out the light still muttering about it. I can only go off what he said….I haven’t had it since I was in elem school so…?
November 26 at 9:43pm · Unlike · 2

One time my mom told my dad to pick up a bowling ball for dinner.
November 26 at 9:54pm · Unlike · 2

‘Well that will be good for my budding PORN career
November 26 at 10:02pm · Unlike · 2

My brother once asked me why the police were after the tooth fairy…as I was taking his tooth from under his pillow.
November 26 at 10:06pm · Unlike · 2

“Sit. Sit! …Come here! …Roll over! … *annoyed* It’s just standing there! … *dawning realization* Ooooh, this potty doesn’t want to be trained. Bad potty!”
November 26 at 10:07pm · Unlike · 2

I talk in my sleep and it usually has something to do with the day before. Or I talk about mattresses.
November 26 at 10:10pm · Unlike · 1

Hubby: “Where’s the ammo? Why’d you move my ammo?!”
Me: “I don’t know anything about ammo. Go back to sleep.”
Hubby: “Don’t tell me to go back to sleep! You hid my ammo, and now we’re gonna die!”
Me: “…Where do you think we are right now?”
Hubby: “We’re in bed, it’s three in the morning, the zombies are getting in, AND I NEED THE F*CKING AMMO!”

Also, he once said something about dropping a bowling ball out of a helicopter.
November 26 at 10:12pm · Unlike · 5

Oh yeah, and a gem from a few weeks ago. Apparently, my chair is chapter nine, and chapter nine is life. He was too annoyed that I asked what he meant to explain it to me, and had no memory of it the next morning.
November 26 at 10:14pm · Unlike · 2

Dude, these are all fabulous. You guys are some hilarious motherf***ers when you’re sleeping! The most exciting thing I do while I sleep is giggle creepily. My husband says it’s almost a nightly occurrence.
November 26 at 10:18pm · Unlike · 3

Ummm, i may or may not have terrified my friend when she was sleeping over and I apparently said ‘I will wear your skin’ in my sleep O_O!
November 26 at 10:22pm · Unlike · 4
“The world will rue the day that I gave Superman explosive diarrhea! (evil chuckle)”
November 26 at 10:34pm · Unlike · 2

“Thank you for dinner. Now if I ever say that something tastes like the anal evacuation of the recently deceased, I’ll have a frame of reference.”
November 26 at 10:40pm · Unlike · 5

I apparently used to sing in my sleep. I was once at a summer camp with a really loud sleep talker and walker who had recurring dreams about Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz. Ooh, and there was a candy mountain included.
November 26 at 10:42pm · Unlike · 1

I have recited my home address and said “cheese house”, according to roommates.
November 26 at 10:44pm · Unlike · 2

“Jorge” Hor-Hey – in HS my bff rolled over and said that name.
November 26 at 10:54pm · Unlike · 1

Had a roomie yell KILL IT!!! Kill it! She was dreaming there was a spider and would not stop yelling until I clapped my hands and said it’s dead.
November 26 at 11:09pm · Unlike · 5

I had a roommate that would scream like she was being murdered. Terrifying, blood-curdling screams. My husband once sat straight up and said, “POE!” Imagine being punched so hard in the stomach that you had the wind knocked out of you and saying “Poe” at the same time. That’s what it sounded like.
November 26 at 11:15pm · Unlike · 2

“I am the master mortal” an ex told me i said this when i slept over.
November 26 at 11:30pm · Unlike · 2

My mother says that, when I was four years old, I mumbled, “Don’t forget the alligator.” She asked me what I had been dreaming about, and I had no idea.
November 26 at 11:33pm · Unlike · 1

My hubby “Oh my god! There’s a f*cking bear and a wolf in camp! They’re just outside! Can’t you hear them?” He stage whispered the whole bit, then fell back into a sound sleep.
November 26 at 11:35pm · Unlike · 1

“Where’s the turtle?!”
November 26 at 11:39pm · Unlike · 1

“Is the nose ready to put back on?” ~me, sleepwalking, age 10. “It’s okay, we totally got this. Rainbow elephants, yeah.” ~ my husband, age 30 something.
November 26 at 11:46pm · Edited · Like · 1

“E is in conflict with F.” “What?!” “Peanut butter!” – exchange with husband when he first started Ambien.
November 27 at 12:01am · Unlike · 2

I made a whole list of things my wife said one time when she was super tired and half asleep. Let me look for it.
November 27 at 12:31am · Unlike · 1

“To the front lines!…oh hi grandma.”

“The stacks…they’re closing in.”
“I know i know just run away” <– one enlightening sleep conversation between two asleep individuals talking about.. a library? at best guess.

“But what about my bulk good needs?!” – I actually woke up mid sentence yelling that one. I was getting dragged out of Kostco in my nightmare for trying to use someone else’s membership card. I need a more entertaining life.

“I feel like a…streetlight.”
November 27 at 1:02am · Unlike · 3

One of my friend used to be able to answer ANY question except one while he slept (the only question he couldn’t answer and that was allowing me to know he was asleep was simply “Are you ok?”, it seemed that question was just bugging his brain)
While sleeping I once handed him his phone with a client on the other end and he helped the person install Window and get all his drivers without waking up.
Some other time he gave instruction as to how to organize the schedule for baseball officials for a peewee league. He was telling them how many they needed for every kind of game (normal, tournament and so on) and who to call.
I’ve always been impressed by how much information you could get out of him without him waking up or remembering any of it.
November 27 at 1:04am · Unlike · 4

“…he came down because of the lion’s meat…”
November 27 at 1:06am · Unlike · 2

We had just come home from a long day of Black Friday shopping, and I was so tired that I began dozing off on the couch within minutes of sitting down. I barely processed a question my daughter asked me, but I answered her saying, “Sure, as long as there aren’t any tags on it.” She shook me awake, and informed me that she had just asked if she and her brothers could watch a TV show.
November 27 at 1:11am · Unlike · 2

Here’s another: the best thing I’ve ever heard anyone say in their sleep was my daughter as a 4 year old saying, “I love you, Mama.”
November 27 at 1:20am · Unlike · 2

Oddly enough, I kept a document of these during NaNo one year, lol. “It was a big adventure. Yay little hamsters!”
November 27 at 1:33am · Unlike · 2

“I’ll still know who you are.”
November 27 at 1:33am · Unlike · 2

“I can’t leave without towels.”
November 27 at 1:33am · Unlike · 1

Oh my sister is a great fund of these things. “Shut up moons!” “Don’t want the banana to eat Fred.” and “Because, cactus, magic beans.” Are my favorites xD
November 27 at 1:34am · Unlike · 3

“Robot Bob. Bee bee bee bah beep boop,” XD
November 27 at 1:45am · Unlike · 2

I have been told that, when my daughter came upstairs one day while I was sick and asleep in bed, and asked me what she should have for dinner, I told her to have the “sauce that’s on the chair.” I, apparently, got agitated when she kept asking me the same question and kept repeating the same instructions to her, just more loudly each time. I remember none of this. (My husband was home and made sure the kids were fed. I had the flu at the time.)
November 27 at 1:56am · Unlike · 4

“Wolverine, no…”
November 27 at 2:19am · Unlike · 1

My husband always asks me to get a ladder due to doing electrician
November 27 at 2:19am · Unlike · 1

My younger sister was at a birthday party when she was younger. She talked about Rainbows, unicorns and then talked about how much she hated the birthday girl.
November 27 at 2:21am · Unlike · 1

“Where are the aqua speakers?”
November 27 at 3:04am · Unlike · 3

When my brother was a kid he started mumbling in his sleep about how the bungee string was too thick and that the body between the television would not go away.
November 27 at 3:18am · Unlike · 1

“You have ants crawling all over you! Wait…no you don’t, what am I talking about? ”
November 27 at 3:19am · Unlike · 1

My roommate in college (a language major) would speak German in her sleep. I only know baby Spanish, so I didn’t have a clue what she was saying except I could recognize it was German.
November 27 at 3:38am · Unlike · 1

We need to find the intelligent monkeys
November 27 at 3:46am · Unlike · 1

My dad is great for this! According to mum the best things he’s said are “its okay, in a moment I’ll start breathing through my feet and if that doesn’t work, you can shoot me!” on being asked by mum to stop snoring. He has also stated that he needs a one way visa to Vienna and that he needs a hat to stop his thoughts leaking out of his head. Just a few gems…
November 27 at 3:48am · Unlike · 2

I knew someone who swore mostly vilely in her sleep.
November 27 at 4:33am · Unlike · 1

My husband was taking about fantasy football then told me he had to put the watermelon in his coat before I realized he was not fully awake. lol
November 27 at 4:47am · Unlike · 2

Don’t forget to feed the baby penguin
November 27 at 6:48am · Unlike · 1

“atomic goldfish” (I have no idea).
November 27 at 7:42am · Unlike · 1

Apparently I once said “They’re my trousers and you can’t have them”
November 27 at 7:42am · Unlike · 3

My little sister once went, completely monotone, “I’m watching you.” And then, about five minutes later – “I’m still watching you.” I didn’t get much sleep that night. XD
November 27 at 8:21am · Unlike · 2

I don’t usually sleep talk but I once woke myself up (and the entire house) by apparently screaming. What made it weird was that I was moaning in-dream for certain… reasons…
November 27 at 8:40am · Unlike · 1

“Those aren’t pillows.”

Wait, the person wasn’t asleep. And that was a movie. Move along, nothing to see here.
November 27 at 9:01am · Unlike · 2

My brother once said, “I’m going to rearrange your bones,” to my other brother.
November 27 at 9:08am · Unlike · 2

“Life is a salad!”
November 27 at 9:09am · Unlike · 1

“Are you searching for buried treasure?”
November 27 at 9:24am · Unlike · 1

I once said, and I knew I was saying it when I said it, cause I asked and mom said she heard me say it. ‘Get that male dog out of the backyard with Lucky.” We had a Shepherd Husky mix and I was dreaming about her, and there was a male dog with her (she was fixed, but in my dream; apparently not).
November 27 at 9:28am · Unlike · 1

“You’re an everything ruiner. All you do is take everythings and ruin them.”
November 27 at 9:49am · Unlike · 6

Sleeping Sister: I want my Sariah.
Me: I am Sariah.
Sleeping Sister: No, you’re not.
November 27 at 10:01am · Unlike · 1

My aunt once yelled in her sleep to wake up her mom, only to tell her mom she was a chicken and go back to sleep.
November 27 at 10:13am · Unlike · 3

My little brother once snored so loud he woke himself up and asked if it was thundering outside.
November 27 at 10:50am · Unlike · 2

My husband woke up to hear me singing Jingle Bells in my sleep.
November 27 at 10:53am · Unlike · 1

“Hey, let’s go kill kids” – My husband
November 27 at 12:25pm · Unlike · 1

I’ve woken up mid-dream a few times, talking. My fiancé has been witness to this a few times and asked me what I said. I try to distract him and hope he forgets. Hahaha.

In those cases, I remember exactly what I was saying. It usually relates to something ridiculous and dream-related.
November 27 at 1:07pm · Unlike · 1

“Get out! Just get the f___ out!” while thrusting fist in the air.
November 27 at 1:08pm · Unlike · 2

“In the other shop they came in packs of ten!”
November 27 at 1:09pm · Unlike · 1

Also, once when we were sharing a bed I sat up in my sleep, asked my mom “How do you spell ‘peaches’?” She told me, I thanked her, and went back to sleep.
November 27 at 1:09pm · Unlike · 2

“It’s falling! It’s falling!” This was my roommate who apparently believed the ceiling was falling. She had her hands up like she was holding it up. I came over and put my hands up too, told her “don’t worry, I got it”. She said “thanks” and rolled over back to sleep.
November 27 at 1:33pm · Unlike · 8

My ex used to talk like he was playing one of his video games. “You go to the left. I’ll go to the right and we’ll flank them.” Things like that (guess what he was playing nearly all day)
November 27 at 1:50pm · Unlike · 2

My husband laughed in his sleep last night. It was adorable
November 27 at 1:57pm · Unlike · 2

My mom was sleeping on the couch, suddenly turned onto her other side, and said, “I’m telling Mom!”
November 27 at 2:00pm · Unlike · 3

“The walls! The walls are for leaning on!”
November 27 at 2:02pm · Unlike · 1

My mum, falling asleep whilst watching telly…”they look like gnomelets!” “Why are they gnomelets, mum?” “Because they’re small. Gnomelets are small…” This was about 7 years ago and I still have no bloody idea what she was on about…
November 27 at 2:03pm · Unlike · 1

My mom is always nodding off in front of the TV and when she’s particularly sleepy she’ll start saying some weird stuff. The one that I remember the most was from a few years ago when she said, “Don’t look at me with sunshine in your eyes.” Whatever that is supposed to mean!
November 27 at 2:10pm · Unlike · 2

My stepbrother was talking in his sleep once. I thought he was on his cell phone at the time. Here’s the conversation:
“Go ahead and try it! Tell him to try it! I dare him!” *Next morning* “So who won the fight last night?” Huh? What fight? Nevermind………
November 27 at 2:34pm · Like · 1

My husband is a computer programmer. He talks code in his sleep, or says things like, “The server won’t make the call out, change the permissions…” Once he said he was on fire, but I think he was talking about his programming abilities…
November 27 at 2:44pm · Unlike · 3

Something something, “catch the bananas for grandma” soothing something?
November 27 at 7:54pm · Unlike · 2

On the phone with my boyfriend when he rang me to let me know he got to work safely and check if I was awake and up (back when we were dating and living together years ago) he asked me the following.

“So what are you doing?”

It was met with my reply.

“Sharpening the swords”

We had no swords and I was still in bed half asleep.
November 27 at 7:58pm · Unlike · 2

I have sat up and said “Flying pig jousting tournaments!” Very proudly
I have no recollection of it but my brothers and ex all agree that it happened
November 27 at 7:59pm · Unlike · 2

A friend I was sharing a bed with at a sleepover once rolled on top of me and just started shouting “cookies!” repeatedly in a slightly ominous tone.
November 27 at 9:37pm · Unlike · 2

My Mom told me about this today. She woke up several weeks ago and could only think in Spanish. Her native language is English. She grew up in the valley in Texas and took Spanish in high school and college, but she’s far from fluent. Anyway, she woke up about an hour before her alarm went off and could only think in Spanish. She recognized that she couldn’t go to work that way and decided she needed to lie back down and get her English back before she got out of bed.
November 27 at 10:00pm · Unlike · 4

Moyer Spiders!
November 27 at 10:01pm · Unlike · 1

Um, once, my ex-boyfriend told me I kept telling him to “cheat the old lady”.
November 27 at 10:25pm · Unlike · 2

My mom types in her sleep and talks with customers
November 27 at 11:00pm · Unlike · 3

My husband uses my hipbone as a guitar in his sleep.
November 27 at 11:19pm · Unlike · 4

My husband said, “Don’t put the children on the rack.” I answered him (awake) and said, “Why would I put the children on a rack?” He replied, “You know, while we’re moving.” I have no idea what he was dreaming about, but at the time we had no children.
November 28 at 9:47pm · Like · 2

I keep telling my husband that I am pregnant.
November 28 at 10:32pm · Like · 2

I once got mad at my ex because I had dreamed that he had lost papers I needed to sign and was yelling at him about it in the middle of the night.
November 28 at 10:34pm · Like

“Stefanee, the fish! The fish, Stefanee!” and “That’s epic.”
November 28 at 11:30pm · Like

No, no! Don’t throw the pepper shaker! You’ll hurt it, and then she’ll die!
November 29 at 12:55am · Like

It’s kinda like a ballet.
November 26 at 6:12pm · Unlike · 1

I’m never going to finish all my homework. (True story-I had been out of school for well over 6 years.)
November 26 at 6:18pm · Unlike · 1

You don’t like children? That’s crazy!
November 26 at 6:52pm · Unlike · 1

If you slide down the bannister, there’s an apple at the end. (from my now 18 yr old when he was about 7)
November 26 at 6:53pm · Unlike · 2

But I don’t want waffles.
November 26 at 6:54pm · Unlike · 1

They’re going to reposses my macaroni!
November 26 at 7:33pm · Unlike · 1

My best friend Sara once talked about a spaghetti monster.
November 26 at 9:19pm · Unlike · 1

According to my mom, one night when my cousin and I were sleeping on the couch, she picked up the nearby trash can offered it to me asking if I wanted popcorn and I said no.
November 26 at 9:27pm · Unlike · 2


So, there you have it, more blog than you could ever ask for. This was too much fun and I got quite a few good ones for my story (and stories yet to come). I have to say though, my favorite has to be “Wolverine, no.” I really want to know what that dream was about.

What was your favorite?

What kind of craziness have you heard at night?

Also, I got several recommendations to visit another blog called Sleep Talking. Apparently, a loving wife has decided to record and blog about her husbands Nighttime utterances. I haven’t had a chance listen to much of what’s on there because, you know,  Nano.

So I’ll leave you with a little something I found in my research of sleep talking.

Or perhaps you’d rather hear the original.

So, Nano

Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted. Like eight months long. There should be a law or something.

But it’s not like I haven’t been writing. As a matter of fact, I just finished up NanoWriMo. (Yeah, I know it was done two days ago but I took yesterday reeeeal slow and rested up) But the cool thing is, NanoWriMo didn’t finish me.

This is my second year winning Nano. I’m pretty happy about that. A couple of my writing group buddies, Jon and Amanda, challenged each other to 100k this year and somehow I was challenged to do it too. My reaction to that was ‘Why me?’ but about halfway through I hit my stride. No wait, it was more like Turbo Boost.

My goal has always been to write 2k a day. Not a small number, not a large number, but one that I thought was not only doable but wouldn’t tire me out and would let me be creative. But there were a couple of days this month were I turned out a larger number than I thought I would ever be able to do.

But there’s a trick to it. You see, I noticed that when I went to Write-Ins I would churn out more words, 2500 to 3500, but I was writing for almost the same amount of time. The difference is breaks.

I get creative fatigue. I push to write and keep writing until my fingers go numb and my brain goes blah and I’m tired, and I’m frustrated, and I can’t think of what happens next. So, the next time I go to write, I don’t wanna. I’m freeze up thinking that I won’t be able to create, I won’t be able get the words out. I’m a failure, I suck, etc, etc. But this didn’t happen at the Write-Ins. It’s all about the breaks.

So, one day after a Write-In (this was just past the Nano mid-point) and making just over 3000 words. I drove home thinking, ‘Why can’t I do this all the time? What’s the difference?’

Sure, there is some kind of crazy energy being in a room with so many other creative minds creating but as much as I’d like to I can’t bring all those folks home. That’s a lot of meals I’d have to fix and then there are those pesky kidnapping laws.

Anyway, we do word sprints. Our Super Duper ML, Julie, sets us up a time limit where we have to write as much as we can as fast as we can. Afterward, we get a treat. Well, sometimes. You have to win for most words or be close to the magic number. But more importantly, for me at least, was the break.

I made some words and now I get a breather. Then we do it all again.

That was it!!

The Turbo Boost!!

So, after a 3000 word day, I went home and done it again. Set up a timer for twenty minutes and wrote my little heart out. Took a break. Then wrote for twenty minutes more. It may sound weird but those tiny breaks gave me a recharge and I wasn’t getting that brain freezing frustration.

5000 words a day!!

Me! Yeah, me.

And the next day, I did it again. Over ten thousand words in two days. A fifth of the Nano goal. What? Crazy!!

So, I got to thinking that maybe that One-Hundred Thousand Word Challenge my not be as impossible as I thought. I wouldn’t finish it first, but I’d finish it.

Instead, I got something else.

A head cold.

That pretty much ended that idea for me.

So, I battled another Wicked Wordsmith for top spot on the Magic Speadsheet. I got the most words but we tied for points.

But, all in all, I won NanoWriMo in 20 days and finished the month out with 70,137 words.

This Nano I learned more about the way that I need to be writing and how to get more writing done. I think I have about thirty to forty thousand words until I’m done with this novel and with the Turbo Boost, I have hope that I’ll be getting that done a lot sooner that I would have before. I’m aiming for about mid-December.

Wish me luck on keeping the head colds a bay!!Winner-2014-Web-Banner


New Flash Fiction Challenge found here:

The Challenge?

To choose five of these ten random words and incorporate them into a single piece of flash fiction.

The words: Whalebone, Foxglove, Djinn, Orphan, Lollipop, Casket, Hermit, Hound, Acid, Topaz. I chose my five (and hinted at three more) and this is what I came up with.

The Hermit

The boy walked the trail up what the villagers called Bent Top Mountain, although it was no more a mountain than he was a man, bundled in a stolen blanket. He sucked at a stolen candy to keep his mouth moist in the dry winter air for he had no water or skin with which to carry it in. He wished he had something for his eyes. The cold dried them until they felt like stones in their sockets. But wishing would come later.

He was going to see the hermit.

He guessed that no one knew for sure why the man was a hermit as most of the villagers gave different reasons for it. One said he was horribly burned. Another that he was crazy with sickness. And, yet another said he was a murderer and hiding from justice. If someone asked the boy why he thought the man was a hermit, he would suggest that it was to keep away from villagers and their tall tales. But who was going to ask a boy?

The boy heard a noise and he stopped to listen for what it could have been. The wind died down a bit, besides he thought it may be something else. Something just as alive as the wind, but more dangerous. The wind would roar, but this was more of a growl. Looking into the trees, he only saw the wood and snow that one would expect to see on a cold winter day on a path such as this. He started forward once more.

It wasn’t long before the trees grew scarce and the path widened to reveal stony ground and rock formations all along it. Within an the hour, he reached the hermit’s cave. When he approached he heard rustling in the brush again. This time, a large hound walked out and approached him.

The beast stood almost as tall as the boy, its red eyes almost meeting his own. The boy tried to hold his fear like his breath and met the creature’s gaze. The beast moved slowly, sniffed at the boys collar through the blanket, lowered its head, did the same to his crotch, then his feet. Raising its head again to meet the boy’s eyes, it licked at his chin, then walked into the cave.

The boy stood outside for a moment before following, trying to peer into the dark depths. It revealed nothing. His arm moved beneath his cloak as he checked for the knife in his belt. Finding it, he stepped into the cave.

Darkness surrounded him deeper than night, and he put his hands out in front of him. There was no sign or sound of the hound he followed.

“Hello?” he called out.

There was light. It didn’t brighten the cave gradually as if a torch approached. It was just there. The boy was surprised that he didn’t have to guard his eyes against the sudden brightness. His eyes were already adjusted. He didn’t see the hound that had met him at the mouth of the cave, but thought he felt it watching him.

The cave was warm too. There was no sign of the cold from the outside. The boy looked down at the fire that blazed a few feet from him and removed the blanket. He sat next to the fire, placed his hands out to warm them, not knowing why. Just as his eyes had adjusted to the light, his skin was already warm as if he’d been in the cave for hours.

He didn’t call out again. The strangeness of all this seemed to have stolen his voice. Or at least his willingness to speak. He was content to wait. He figured that was the point. There was a fire with a log on each side for sitting. He was doing exactly what he thought was expected of him. He was patient.

He didn’t need to exercise this long, for soon he heard the unmistakable shuffle of someone moving toward him with a walking stick.

He saw his eyes first. They caught the light of the fire and shone in the darkness. When he emerged into full view, he was nothing like the boy expected. He wasn’t dressed in rags, but in clothes the boy did not recognize. Blue trousers of some strange material. His shirt looked to be of similar material, but less heavy with silvery buttons down the front.  The hermit was wearing a hat with very little brim. It was covered in designs of flames and a horse with wheels where the legs should be. There were words in a language the boy didn’t recognize.

“What?” the hermit said.

“Hello,” the boy said. “I’m Benjamin.”

“I don’t care. What do you want?”

“I was told you had a Djinn. That for a price, you’d allow it to be used.”

“‘Course,” the hermit said, and sat on the other log. There was a strap draped across his chest with a large bag attached to it. He opened the bag and reached inside.

The boy’s hand found the handle of his knife.

The hermit pulled a box out that was in the shape of a casket, its top encrusted with shining stones. For a casket, it was small. But for something that would hold a Djinn, it looked big.

“Three questions,” the hermit said. “You answer truthfully, you get the Djinn. You don’t …” He didn’t add more, but there was a darkness in his eyes that made the boy squeeze his blade’s handle.

The boy nodded. The hermit nodded back.

“Where’re your parents?” the hermit asked.

“Dead,” Benjamin answered, never letting his eyes waver from the hermit’s.

“Okay, orphan. How did you find me?”

“A man named Kent from Del Rey.”

The hermit smiled a mouthful of very white teeth. “And what’re you to do with the Djinn?”

It was the boy’s turn to smile. “I’m going to avenge my parents.” His eyes narrowed, he squeezed the blade handle tighter.



I haven’t posted in years. What better way to come back than a writing challenge.

The Challenge? A thousand words, ten chapters, any genre.

I made it a little more difficult by keeping every chapter at 100 words.

So, this is what I did.


Hung Over


Darkness. I opened my eyes. More Darkness. Disoriented, I lifted my head. The room spun and I tried to spin with it, to move. I pulled myself up, unable to see anything before me. I felt around, hands reaching, searching. Finding first a wall, then a light switch. I flip it. Nothing happened. More searching. My head pounded from the hangover. My stomach lurched, it’s contents rolled, looking for escape. Dammit. I bent over, vomited. A little better now, I resumed my search for light. Finally, a door knob. I turned it, opened the door and was hit with a sledgehammer.


Light crashed into my eyes and continued on to shove pain throughout my brain. I recoiled, stifling the need to vomit and tried again to step through the door. Shielding my eyes, I made it out of the dark room and into a dirty kitchen. Plates, dishes, and moldy food strewn about. The sight of it, the smell, the food and mold. I vomited again. This time while bent over, I noticed I was wearing clothes I didn’t recognize as my own. And they were covered in blood.

Where the hell was I? What the hell had happened that night?


Holding the wall, I made my way through the kitchen to what I thought would be the front of the house. I didn’t recognize it. I’d never been here before. It was old and trashy and smelled of mildew. I needed to get out of here. Get home. Try to forget what I couldn’t remember.

I made my way through a small dining area, down a hallway and into a living room. A television played in a corner.

There was a dead girl in a recliner. I knew she was dead by the way her head sat in her lap.


The dead girl was naked. Blood leaked from the tattered remains of her neck down her legs. Her face was familiar to me, but only through the hazy glaze of alcohol. I’d been at the bar last night. She had been there too. The longer I looked at her, the more that came back. She’d invited us back to her house to continue partying. There were others there besides us.

I’d kissed her and then … and then nothing I couldn’t remember.

Someone had killed her. I was still in her house. That wasn’t a good combination. I turned to leave.


Matt stood in the door behind me. He’d been with me at the bar last night, my best friend, helping me celebrate my new job. He’d even bought me a t-shirt with a big thumbs up and “You the Man!” printed across the chest. Cheesy? Yes, but it was one of the bricks of our friendship.

I’d known him most of my life. He stood in the doorway and I didn’t recognize the look on his face.

“Oh, thank God,” I said. “I thought you’d left me here.”

He looked at me, but did not speak.

“Matt? What’s wrong?”


“Matt,” I repeated. He looked wrong somehow. He was very pale, but something else bothered me. “Are you okay?”

He just looked at me.

“Do you know what happened to this girl?” I asked. “Do you know why I have blood all over me?”

Again, nothing.

“Matt, dammit, what’s happening?”

He took a step toward me and mumbled something that I didn’t catch.

“What?” I asked. “Help me out here, Matt, I’ve fucking scared.”

“You weren’t supposed to wake up yet,” he said.

I finally saw what had been bothering me.

Matt was wearing my “You the Man” t-shirt.


“What the hell is going on here, Matt?” I said, my voice shaking.

“Why’d she bring us here if she didn’t want it?” he said. He was looking past me at the dead girl. “Why would she do that?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Matt? Did you do this?”

He continued as if I had not spoken. “She teased me and then she told me no. I thought it was a game, thought she was playing but when it was over. She started screaming, scratched me and …” He nodded toward the dead girl and drew his finger across his neck.


“Oh my God, Matt,” I said. I felt more vomit rising in me, but there was nothing left.

“It’s okay though,” he said. “We can make this all go away, can’t we?”

“Matt, I don’t know,” I said. “How the hell are we supposed to make this go away?”

“You’re a smart guy,” he said. “You’ll figure something out.”

“What the hell do you mean, ‘I’ll figure something out’?”

He didn’t say anything, just nodded toward me. Finally, all too late, my drunk fuzzed head put it all together. I was wearing Matt’s clothes covered in the dead girls blood.


Adrenaline filled me, dulling the pain and haze of the hangover. “You bastard.” I said.

“You slept with her,” he said. “You’re DNA is all over her. You’re already part of this. Why should we both go down, huh?”

I looked around. The girl had been a hoarder. Trash, cardboard boxes, and clothes were strewn about the room. But nothing I could use as a weapon.

“I figure it’ll be your word against mine, but in the end the evidence is on you … literally.” He grinned again as he lit a cigarette with his Zippo.

It gave me an idea.


I rushed him, pushed him against the door frame. I grabbed the Zippo, then kicked at him until he went down. There was a bottle half full of whatever shit whiskey we had drank last night sitting on the counter. I grabbed it and poured its contents out on Matt as he tried to climb back up.

I kicked him down again and flicked a flame from the Zippo.

“You burn me,” I said. “I burn you.” I dropped the flame.

As I rushed out of the house I could hear him stumbling through, lighting all her trash around him.