Don’t You Know You’re Sleeping In A Spotlight

During Nano I came to a point in my story where I needed to have a character say a few weird things in his sleep. I’ve had a few of these experiences in the past that I wanted to use but I decided to ask the Official NanoWriMo Facebook page “Anyone want to give me some crazy things you’ve heard people say in their sleep?” to see if I could get a few examples from others. I was extremely surprised at the response. In all, over 170 folks chimed in with hilarious and creepy samples of somniloquy.

Me first: Two friends stayed over after an exhausting day.
Sleeping Friend 1: “Wow, I’m so thirsty.”
Sleeping Friend 2: “Hold on, I’ll get you something to drink.”

Another time I was trying to wake a friend who had fallen asleep in front of the TV.
“We have to stop them,” he said.
“The kids in the KISS make up with the dentist equipment.”

And here they are more or less in the order they were received with the names removed to protect the innocent.

My husband was sick with strep throat and said ‘get me a chicken in a bucket’ while sleeping. My daughter has sat up in bed and just laughed herself silly in her sleep.
November 26 at 6:23pm · Unlike · 3

My friend once said, “Extra extra EXTRA bricks…”
My ex-husband and I had this conversation (he was asleep, I was reading in bed)
Him:”Tell Clack (military friend) I’m sorry”
Me: “Uh what?”
“Just tell Clack I said I’m sorry!”
“I forgot his birthday and I feel bad. Tell Clack I’m sorry”
(I realize he’s asleep) “Okay, I’ll tell him”

*edit* It wasn’t even close to Clack’s birthday.
November 26 at 6:24pm · Edited · Unlike · 4

I am not a muffin was once screamed at me
November 26 at 6:46pm · Unlike · 7

Haha, my husband’s a Naval officer. He doesn’t usually swear at home…but I some nights he’ll chew people out in his sleep…I’ve learned some swear words I didn’t know existed!
November 26 at 7:04pm · Unlike · 4

My brother woke me up one night because he was calling out my name, like he needed help. My husband has had a full conversation with me while I was asleep, and I’ve had conversations with him too. Neither of us remember what we said in the morning.
November 26 at 7:05pm · Unlike · 3

I woke up in the middle of the night to find my boyfriend facing me with his eyes open. He goes, “Watch out, watch out, watch out. Watch out for the coming man.” And then I promptly shat the bed.

He says he was probably dreaming about work and saying “company man,” but I don’t believe him.
November 26 at 7:06pm · Unlike · 8

“I’m gonna eat that train”, apparently my wife dreams of being a kaiju
November 26 at 7:07pm · Unlike · 4

The biggest guy we knew as kids had night terrors and screamed
“BUNNIES!” with fear and loathing.
November 26 at 7:07pm · Unlike · 6

My brother called me on the phone one night, after I’d already dozed off. He got mad and hung up when I kept telling him about turtles…pink turtles, purple turtles…and the things they make for dinner.
November 26 at 7:07pm · Unlike · 6

My husband once said while sleeping, “Now that we are done hunting deer. We must fillet my wife.”
November 26 at 7:09pm · Unlike · 8

My husband said that his ex wife made him promise not to give her son bacon. She is a vegetarian, while she was asleep, she woke him up to say this. Wouldn’t leave him alone until he promised
November 26 at 7:09pm · Unlike · 2

“The walls are moving, OH GOD! …” few moments later, “That’s MY meatloaf!”
November 26 at 7:13pm · Unlike · 2

“I can drive a corn truck!”
November 26 at 7:14pm · Unlike · 3

“Do you see that giant spider on the ceiling?! It’s just, so, giant!!” And “call 911!”
November 26 at 7:15pm · Unlike · 1

I said that once, and I actually remember in a fog saying it I also once had an argument with my sister in my sleep where I told her to put her head back in her night shirt.l she asked me why I said Because turtles put their heads in when there is danger she goes “What are you talking about” and I said “Fine be stupid..” then back to sleep..
November 26 at 7:15pm · Unlike · 1

Once my sister was babbling about insurance in her sleep. Then she almost attacked me with a plush toy (she and I were kids at the time)
November 26 at 7:16pm · Unlike · 1

My ex used to leave the TV on all night, I once woke up to a tornado documentary on the weather channel and thought it was real and loaded everyone up on the downstairs bathroom before he woke me up. I also, apparently, yelled “turn God off” when an early Sunday morning evangelist started up but I don’t recall it.
November 26 at 7:17pm · Unlike · 4

My mother once told me that I (while sleeping in a hotel bed with her giant Labrador retriever) yelled out that “No, I didn’t want to eat the dog for dessert!”
November 26 at 7:19pm · Unlike · 3

“That’d be nice.”
November 26 at 7:19pm · Unlike · 1

This isn’t exactly crazy, but my brother-in-law will be asleep and my sister-in-law will tell him that he needs to go to bed, and he’ll sit there telling her he’s not asleep…in his sleep.
November 26 at 7:19pm · Unlike · 2

I’ve done some pretty weird things. My mum said I once shouted at her “Where is the Yu-Gi-Oh card?!” in my sleep when I was about 15.
I also stayed in a hotel with a friend once and screamed in the middle of the night “Oh my God, who puts something like THAT in a hotel room?” ‘That’ was an imaginary spider I thought I’d seen on the ceiling.
November 26 at 7:20pm · Unlike · 1

When I worked at McDonald’s I started taking orders in my sleep and arguing with customers.
November 26 at 7:20pm · Unlike · 3

Oh, that reminds me, I once also woke up in the middle of the night partway through saying “Please enter your PIN.” Retail. Argh.
November 26 at 7:21pm · Unlike · 4

I have a friend who, as a child, used to tell me about her dreams in her sleep. Weird dream stuff.
November 26 at 7:22pm · Unlike · 1

I once began laughing maniacally because I was having a dream about a disease called the Chinaman which caused people to laugh uncontrollably until they died.
November 26 at 7:26pm · Unlike · 7

My sister started speaking German in her sleep rather argumentatively, then reached over to the bed-stand, grabbed the lamp, hit herself on the head with it and woke up. I finally won the argument as to which one of us was the violent sleeper.
November 26 at 7:26pm · Unlike · 8

I heard someone say “spooky spooky spooky” in a really high voice. It was kind of funny LOL
November 26 at 7:28pm · Unlike · 1

There’s always the “I love you” to the woman before…. but also there’s work thoughts
November 26 at 7:31pm · Unlike · 1

My younger brother was sleeping on the couch one time when he started laughing and pointed, yelling, “Hey! Look at the Goomba!” He then laid back down and kept sleeping. It sounded like it started mid-sentence, and he was a high schooler at the time. Very.. video game dreams for a guy that age. XD

I still tease him about it.

He used to sleep on the couch all the time, and he talked in his sleep.. a lot. He could even hold conversations with us. Especially me. Probably because I knew exactly what he was talking about all the time.
But if I tried to hold a conversation about dinner or something mundane like that, it wouldn’t really register. It had to make sense in his dream. And if I’m asking about dinner in the real world, I’m not really acknowledging his dream world. Heh. XD
November 26 at 7:38pm · Unlike · 1

My sister had a friend that would talk about whatever you asked her to. In her sleep. We could also tell her to do things and she would. So weird.
November 26 at 7:38pm · Unlike · 2

Apparently my mum once caught me saying ‘push her out the window before anyone sees’

And not someone saying something but my dad woke my mum up by slapping her in the face as he sat up and flapped his arm in an attempt to fly…
November 26 at 7:40pm · Unlike · 4

I had an hour-long conversation with a friend on a phone while completely asleep. She said I was perfectly coherent. I didn’t remember any of it the next day, but my parents saw me lying on the bed talking on the phone, so it apparently happened. I also translated a whole document while asleep at my computer. It was perfectly coherent, yet completely unrelated to the original document. Very weird.
November 26 at 7:40pm · Unlike · 5

One of my teammates during my AmeriCorps internship sang opera in his sleep.
November 26 at 7:47pm · Unlike · 2

My boyfriend has fights in his sleep.
November 26 at 7:49pm · Unlike · 1

My six year old sister used to scream that the world was ending and we were all burning while she slept. Then one night she just stopped.
November 26 at 7:53pm · Unlike · 2

The girl who lived in the dorm room next door (we shared a half bath) told me that one night I was singing the alphabet song in French in my sleep.
November 26 at 7:55pm · Unlike · 5

When I asked what one girl said, my friend furiously replied in her sleep “She’s TRYING to write a sentence on the piano!!”
November 26 at 7:57pm · Unlike · 5

‘That’s a big damned monkey; knock it in the hole.’ I have no idea what he was dreaming about but it must have been good.
November 26 at 7:58pm · Unlike · 2

I once apparently sat straight up in bed during a sleepover and said, “the king will have roast duck for dinner.” And then lay back down.
November 26 at 7:58pm · Edited · Unlike · 9

One time, my brother yelled, “GET TO THE DOOR!” in an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.
November 26 at 8:08pm · Unlike · 4

I once gave my husband a list of chocolates to buy
November 26 at 8:15pm · Unlike · 4

My mom (who works main entrance at Disneyland) is notorious for sleep talking. One time I went to her room to wake her up and ask her a question and she sat up, moved her hands as if she were scanning a ticket and said “I’ll take your ticket and you can get your hand stamp at the gate” before falling back asleep.
November 26 at 8:17pm · Unlike · 5

I think I’m going to have to save this thread for a rainy day. So funny, I’m nearly crying with laughter :’) I’ve apparently murmured things about chocolate in my sleep (no surprises) and I’ve told someone to “**** off” too, but nothing half as funny as some of the other stuff here.
November 26 at 8:17pm · Unlike · 1

“Crunchy croutons!” I apparently said this while at a my first sleepover. I also said “I like birthdays.”
November 26 at 8:17pm · Unlike · 1

My husband goes to work in his sleep. Seriously, he’s (apparently) taken full orders for KFC before, (I didn’t know him when he worked at KFC) and I heard him have one half of a call with a customer when he worked for a phone company. The end of the call was something like, “Now that I have gone over your bill and done an engine pull, does were there any other questions for me, or does that resolve the reason for your call.”
November 26 at 8:17pm · Unlike · 1

My little sister also sleep sings. One time I nudged her to move over so I could have more room in bed and she started singing something to the tune of “I Dreamed a Dream”, just with entirely different words.
November 26 at 8:18pm · Unlike · 1

I went in to wake my husband for work one night and when I shook his arm and said his name, he jerked his arm away from me and said, “I don’t believe you’re an alligator so quit lying.”
November 26 at 8:20pm · Unlike · 7

My husband once shook me awake with an urgent “What was that?!?!” While staring off into a dark corner of the bedroom. I woke up in a panic, sat up, looked where he was looking and whisper-screamed “What? What is it?”

He laid down and started snoring. Went right back to sleep. I almost smothered him.
November 26 at 8:22pm · Unlike · 7

Way back when I used to work at a grocery store, and I had just started, I was having a dream about checking groceries, and half asleep I stole my husbands pillow and tried to scan it.
November 26 at 8:24pm · Unlike · 6

My husband also works in his sleep a lot….I have been yelled at for not leaving the right copies of a work order…..he has rattled off parts he needs right away….. He also randomly asks for things, and also “has” things he can not find….like the other night he was upset he couldn’t find his food from taco bell….he had not been to Taco Bell LOL
November 26 at 8:25pm · Unlike · 3

My little sister once did the commentary to a soccer game while asleep. I asked her who won the next morning, and she didn’t remember a thing.
November 26 at 8:26pm · Unlike · 1

My sister heard me clucking in my sleep one night when we were teenagers.
November 26 at 8:28pm · Unlike · 2

“It’s 9 o’clock and the chicken ain’t ready.”
“Would *you* want to go lay next to a dead person?”
“This boat could really use some water.”

Also, my stepdad would just laugh in his sleep for no apparent reason. Presumably, his dreams were hilarious.
November 26 at 8:31pm · Unlike · 3

My wife woke me up one night by saying, in a very calm, elevator computer voice, “Almost four. Time for some more. Thank you.” And then I woke her up laughing.
November 26 at 8:33pm · Unlike · 3

“In America… we measure our meat products”
November 26 at 8:35pm · Unlike · 4

My husband woke me up once frantically asking “Honey? Are you dead?!”
November 26 at 8:36pm · Unlike · 4

My wife and I literally played a game of golf in our sleep–when our friend was sleeping with us. She said something and I kept yelling, “Fore!”
November 26 at 8:38pm · Unlike · 1

My son’s most famous sleep babble was ‘don’t feed the cat raisins’
November 26 at 8:45pm · Unlike · 3

“Hand me a book to fart in!” My aunt Ginny said this when she was 10 or so. Also, my ex-husband would sit up in bed deep sea fishing screaming “Fish on!” Thank God I’m not alone!
November 26 at 8:46pm · Unlike · 3

“Put the oranges on the back porch.” – My best friend.
“Mum, dad get out there’s a fiiiiiiiiiiiire.” – My little bro.
November 26 at 8:46pm · Unlike · 1

“Don’t eat my strawberries! Those are for the giraffe.” – My best friend
November 26 at 8:47pm · Unlike · 1

“Don’t forget the doughnuts, Daddy!”
November 26 at 8:50pm · Unlike · 1

Well, I’m going to give you two anecdotes from my boarding school days:
First off, you must know we had to sleep in 3-level bunk beds and that the place resembled a Dickensian orphanage.
1. A girl from my dorm had recently lost her father and was once talking in her sleep; the girl in the bed right next to her woke up and wanted to check on her but said she saw a white figure between their beds, got scared, closed her eyes and waited til morning. The next day the sleep-talking girl said she had dreamed she was talking to her dad.
2. i used to sleep on the top level and a friend of mine (who used to sleep talk and sometimes sleep walk) slept on the bunk bellow mine. One morning a couple of our dorm mates told us we had scared them during the night, coz we were both talking; they said they first thought we were awake and just chatting, but then they noticed she was sleep-talking in Spanish and i was sleep-talking in English.

~not exactly what you asked for, but that’s all I’ve got.
November 26 at 8:56pm · Edited · Unlike · 3

“No, Katie, that’s my chair!”
…the weird part being that I’m the only Katie I know.
November 26 at 8:51pm · Unlike · 2

“It’s whiskers are brushing up against my shoulder.”
When she woke up my mom told me that she was in the woods being stalked by a big cat.
November 26 at 8:59pm · Unlike · 1

“No, don’t take my Bayblade” and “Pears? What’s the point?”
November 26 at 9:00pm · Unlike · 3

My three-year-old son: “I need traintracks. Thomas is hungry.”
November 26 at 9:02pm · Unlike · 6

I apparently sat bolt-upright and shouted, “Okay, everybody, this is what we’re gonna do,” and then proceeded to babble nonsense. I was ~12.
November 26 at 9:04pm · Unlike · 1

My sister said “Just feed the horses.” We definitely do not have any.
November 26 at 9:07pm · Unlike · 2

My fiance continues to profess to crimes that never occurred “I hope the police don’t find out about the bracelet I stole” etc
November 26 at 9:11pm · Unlike · 4

“Lobster, lobbbbster…” I was 12 and visiting grandparents in Florida. Where we had, you guessed it…
November 26 at 9:14pm · Unlike · 3

My 3 year old said no Emi its mine. Emi is her 5 year old sister and yes they take stuff from each other always
November 26 at 9:14pm · Unlike · 1

My husband cursed out someone he thought he was arresting. There was a lot of swearing that I’m not going to type
November 26 at 9:25pm · Unlike · 2

Welll….I once had a really bad nightmare, jolted awake, realized with relief it was only a dream and rolled over — THEN screamed my head off when I saw someone lying in the bed next to me…and my husband jolted awake going “WHAT?? WHAT???”….

We’d just started sleeping together, and I’d forgotten there was someone in the bed.
November 26 at 9:30pm · Edited · Unlike · 10

(Yelled, thus the all caps) “OUCH! THAT REALLY HURT!”
November 26 at 9:40pm · Unlike · 1

My husband was complaining that the lawn mower wouldn’t work. I asked him why and he said that the wheels were square
November 26 at 9:40pm · Unlike · 6

And “hello? Is anyone there? Hello anyone? Guys?” Then continued snoring…
November 26 at 9:41pm · Unlike · 1

One night when I was checking on my daughter she said, “Don’t lick the floor.” I thought that was pretty weird.
November 26 at 9:41pm · Unlike · 5

I said to my husband as he walked into the room, “Where is the Novocaine?” Sat up and shut out the light still muttering about it. I can only go off what he said….I haven’t had it since I was in elem school so…?
November 26 at 9:43pm · Unlike · 2

One time my mom told my dad to pick up a bowling ball for dinner.
November 26 at 9:54pm · Unlike · 2

‘Well that will be good for my budding PORN career
November 26 at 10:02pm · Unlike · 2

My brother once asked me why the police were after the tooth fairy…as I was taking his tooth from under his pillow.
November 26 at 10:06pm · Unlike · 2

“Sit. Sit! …Come here! …Roll over! … *annoyed* It’s just standing there! … *dawning realization* Ooooh, this potty doesn’t want to be trained. Bad potty!”
November 26 at 10:07pm · Unlike · 2

I talk in my sleep and it usually has something to do with the day before. Or I talk about mattresses.
November 26 at 10:10pm · Unlike · 1

Hubby: “Where’s the ammo? Why’d you move my ammo?!”
Me: “I don’t know anything about ammo. Go back to sleep.”
Hubby: “Don’t tell me to go back to sleep! You hid my ammo, and now we’re gonna die!”
Me: “…Where do you think we are right now?”
Hubby: “We’re in bed, it’s three in the morning, the zombies are getting in, AND I NEED THE F*CKING AMMO!”

Also, he once said something about dropping a bowling ball out of a helicopter.
November 26 at 10:12pm · Unlike · 5

Oh yeah, and a gem from a few weeks ago. Apparently, my chair is chapter nine, and chapter nine is life. He was too annoyed that I asked what he meant to explain it to me, and had no memory of it the next morning.
November 26 at 10:14pm · Unlike · 2

Dude, these are all fabulous. You guys are some hilarious motherf***ers when you’re sleeping! The most exciting thing I do while I sleep is giggle creepily. My husband says it’s almost a nightly occurrence.
November 26 at 10:18pm · Unlike · 3

Ummm, i may or may not have terrified my friend when she was sleeping over and I apparently said ‘I will wear your skin’ in my sleep O_O!
November 26 at 10:22pm · Unlike · 4
“The world will rue the day that I gave Superman explosive diarrhea! (evil chuckle)”
November 26 at 10:34pm · Unlike · 2

“Thank you for dinner. Now if I ever say that something tastes like the anal evacuation of the recently deceased, I’ll have a frame of reference.”
November 26 at 10:40pm · Unlike · 5

I apparently used to sing in my sleep. I was once at a summer camp with a really loud sleep talker and walker who had recurring dreams about Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz. Ooh, and there was a candy mountain included.
November 26 at 10:42pm · Unlike · 1

I have recited my home address and said “cheese house”, according to roommates.
November 26 at 10:44pm · Unlike · 2

“Jorge” Hor-Hey – in HS my bff rolled over and said that name.
November 26 at 10:54pm · Unlike · 1

Had a roomie yell KILL IT!!! Kill it! She was dreaming there was a spider and would not stop yelling until I clapped my hands and said it’s dead.
November 26 at 11:09pm · Unlike · 5

I had a roommate that would scream like she was being murdered. Terrifying, blood-curdling screams. My husband once sat straight up and said, “POE!” Imagine being punched so hard in the stomach that you had the wind knocked out of you and saying “Poe” at the same time. That’s what it sounded like.
November 26 at 11:15pm · Unlike · 2

“I am the master mortal” an ex told me i said this when i slept over.
November 26 at 11:30pm · Unlike · 2

My mother says that, when I was four years old, I mumbled, “Don’t forget the alligator.” She asked me what I had been dreaming about, and I had no idea.
November 26 at 11:33pm · Unlike · 1

My hubby “Oh my god! There’s a f*cking bear and a wolf in camp! They’re just outside! Can’t you hear them?” He stage whispered the whole bit, then fell back into a sound sleep.
November 26 at 11:35pm · Unlike · 1

“Where’s the turtle?!”
November 26 at 11:39pm · Unlike · 1

“Is the nose ready to put back on?” ~me, sleepwalking, age 10. “It’s okay, we totally got this. Rainbow elephants, yeah.” ~ my husband, age 30 something.
November 26 at 11:46pm · Edited · Like · 1

“E is in conflict with F.” “What?!” “Peanut butter!” – exchange with husband when he first started Ambien.
November 27 at 12:01am · Unlike · 2

I made a whole list of things my wife said one time when she was super tired and half asleep. Let me look for it.
November 27 at 12:31am · Unlike · 1

“To the front lines!…oh hi grandma.”

“The stacks…they’re closing in.”
“I know i know just run away” <– one enlightening sleep conversation between two asleep individuals talking about.. a library? at best guess.

“But what about my bulk good needs?!” – I actually woke up mid sentence yelling that one. I was getting dragged out of Kostco in my nightmare for trying to use someone else’s membership card. I need a more entertaining life.

“I feel like a…streetlight.”
November 27 at 1:02am · Unlike · 3

One of my friend used to be able to answer ANY question except one while he slept (the only question he couldn’t answer and that was allowing me to know he was asleep was simply “Are you ok?”, it seemed that question was just bugging his brain)
While sleeping I once handed him his phone with a client on the other end and he helped the person install Window and get all his drivers without waking up.
Some other time he gave instruction as to how to organize the schedule for baseball officials for a peewee league. He was telling them how many they needed for every kind of game (normal, tournament and so on) and who to call.
I’ve always been impressed by how much information you could get out of him without him waking up or remembering any of it.
November 27 at 1:04am · Unlike · 4

“…he came down because of the lion’s meat…”
November 27 at 1:06am · Unlike · 2

We had just come home from a long day of Black Friday shopping, and I was so tired that I began dozing off on the couch within minutes of sitting down. I barely processed a question my daughter asked me, but I answered her saying, “Sure, as long as there aren’t any tags on it.” She shook me awake, and informed me that she had just asked if she and her brothers could watch a TV show.
November 27 at 1:11am · Unlike · 2

Here’s another: the best thing I’ve ever heard anyone say in their sleep was my daughter as a 4 year old saying, “I love you, Mama.”
November 27 at 1:20am · Unlike · 2

Oddly enough, I kept a document of these during NaNo one year, lol. “It was a big adventure. Yay little hamsters!”
November 27 at 1:33am · Unlike · 2

“I’ll still know who you are.”
November 27 at 1:33am · Unlike · 2

“I can’t leave without towels.”
November 27 at 1:33am · Unlike · 1

Oh my sister is a great fund of these things. “Shut up moons!” “Don’t want the banana to eat Fred.” and “Because, cactus, magic beans.” Are my favorites xD
November 27 at 1:34am · Unlike · 3

“Robot Bob. Bee bee bee bah beep boop,” XD
November 27 at 1:45am · Unlike · 2

I have been told that, when my daughter came upstairs one day while I was sick and asleep in bed, and asked me what she should have for dinner, I told her to have the “sauce that’s on the chair.” I, apparently, got agitated when she kept asking me the same question and kept repeating the same instructions to her, just more loudly each time. I remember none of this. (My husband was home and made sure the kids were fed. I had the flu at the time.)
November 27 at 1:56am · Unlike · 4

“Wolverine, no…”
November 27 at 2:19am · Unlike · 1

My husband always asks me to get a ladder due to doing electrician
November 27 at 2:19am · Unlike · 1

My younger sister was at a birthday party when she was younger. She talked about Rainbows, unicorns and then talked about how much she hated the birthday girl.
November 27 at 2:21am · Unlike · 1

“Where are the aqua speakers?”
November 27 at 3:04am · Unlike · 3

When my brother was a kid he started mumbling in his sleep about how the bungee string was too thick and that the body between the television would not go away.
November 27 at 3:18am · Unlike · 1

“You have ants crawling all over you! Wait…no you don’t, what am I talking about? ”
November 27 at 3:19am · Unlike · 1

My roommate in college (a language major) would speak German in her sleep. I only know baby Spanish, so I didn’t have a clue what she was saying except I could recognize it was German.
November 27 at 3:38am · Unlike · 1

We need to find the intelligent monkeys
November 27 at 3:46am · Unlike · 1

My dad is great for this! According to mum the best things he’s said are “its okay, in a moment I’ll start breathing through my feet and if that doesn’t work, you can shoot me!” on being asked by mum to stop snoring. He has also stated that he needs a one way visa to Vienna and that he needs a hat to stop his thoughts leaking out of his head. Just a few gems…
November 27 at 3:48am · Unlike · 2

I knew someone who swore mostly vilely in her sleep.
November 27 at 4:33am · Unlike · 1

My husband was taking about fantasy football then told me he had to put the watermelon in his coat before I realized he was not fully awake. lol
November 27 at 4:47am · Unlike · 2

Don’t forget to feed the baby penguin
November 27 at 6:48am · Unlike · 1

“atomic goldfish” (I have no idea).
November 27 at 7:42am · Unlike · 1

Apparently I once said “They’re my trousers and you can’t have them”
November 27 at 7:42am · Unlike · 3

My little sister once went, completely monotone, “I’m watching you.” And then, about five minutes later – “I’m still watching you.” I didn’t get much sleep that night. XD
November 27 at 8:21am · Unlike · 2

I don’t usually sleep talk but I once woke myself up (and the entire house) by apparently screaming. What made it weird was that I was moaning in-dream for certain… reasons…
November 27 at 8:40am · Unlike · 1

“Those aren’t pillows.”

Wait, the person wasn’t asleep. And that was a movie. Move along, nothing to see here.
November 27 at 9:01am · Unlike · 2

My brother once said, “I’m going to rearrange your bones,” to my other brother.
November 27 at 9:08am · Unlike · 2

“Life is a salad!”
November 27 at 9:09am · Unlike · 1

“Are you searching for buried treasure?”
November 27 at 9:24am · Unlike · 1

I once said, and I knew I was saying it when I said it, cause I asked and mom said she heard me say it. ‘Get that male dog out of the backyard with Lucky.” We had a Shepherd Husky mix and I was dreaming about her, and there was a male dog with her (she was fixed, but in my dream; apparently not).
November 27 at 9:28am · Unlike · 1

“You’re an everything ruiner. All you do is take everythings and ruin them.”
November 27 at 9:49am · Unlike · 6

Sleeping Sister: I want my Sariah.
Me: I am Sariah.
Sleeping Sister: No, you’re not.
November 27 at 10:01am · Unlike · 1

My aunt once yelled in her sleep to wake up her mom, only to tell her mom she was a chicken and go back to sleep.
November 27 at 10:13am · Unlike · 3

My little brother once snored so loud he woke himself up and asked if it was thundering outside.
November 27 at 10:50am · Unlike · 2

My husband woke up to hear me singing Jingle Bells in my sleep.
November 27 at 10:53am · Unlike · 1

“Hey, let’s go kill kids” – My husband
November 27 at 12:25pm · Unlike · 1

I’ve woken up mid-dream a few times, talking. My fiancé has been witness to this a few times and asked me what I said. I try to distract him and hope he forgets. Hahaha.

In those cases, I remember exactly what I was saying. It usually relates to something ridiculous and dream-related.
November 27 at 1:07pm · Unlike · 1

“Get out! Just get the f___ out!” while thrusting fist in the air.
November 27 at 1:08pm · Unlike · 2

“In the other shop they came in packs of ten!”
November 27 at 1:09pm · Unlike · 1

Also, once when we were sharing a bed I sat up in my sleep, asked my mom “How do you spell ‘peaches’?” She told me, I thanked her, and went back to sleep.
November 27 at 1:09pm · Unlike · 2

“It’s falling! It’s falling!” This was my roommate who apparently believed the ceiling was falling. She had her hands up like she was holding it up. I came over and put my hands up too, told her “don’t worry, I got it”. She said “thanks” and rolled over back to sleep.
November 27 at 1:33pm · Unlike · 8

My ex used to talk like he was playing one of his video games. “You go to the left. I’ll go to the right and we’ll flank them.” Things like that (guess what he was playing nearly all day)
November 27 at 1:50pm · Unlike · 2

My husband laughed in his sleep last night. It was adorable
November 27 at 1:57pm · Unlike · 2

My mom was sleeping on the couch, suddenly turned onto her other side, and said, “I’m telling Mom!”
November 27 at 2:00pm · Unlike · 3

“The walls! The walls are for leaning on!”
November 27 at 2:02pm · Unlike · 1

My mum, falling asleep whilst watching telly…”they look like gnomelets!” “Why are they gnomelets, mum?” “Because they’re small. Gnomelets are small…” This was about 7 years ago and I still have no bloody idea what she was on about…
November 27 at 2:03pm · Unlike · 1

My mom is always nodding off in front of the TV and when she’s particularly sleepy she’ll start saying some weird stuff. The one that I remember the most was from a few years ago when she said, “Don’t look at me with sunshine in your eyes.” Whatever that is supposed to mean!
November 27 at 2:10pm · Unlike · 2

My stepbrother was talking in his sleep once. I thought he was on his cell phone at the time. Here’s the conversation:
“Go ahead and try it! Tell him to try it! I dare him!” *Next morning* “So who won the fight last night?” Huh? What fight? Nevermind………
November 27 at 2:34pm · Like · 1

My husband is a computer programmer. He talks code in his sleep, or says things like, “The server won’t make the call out, change the permissions…” Once he said he was on fire, but I think he was talking about his programming abilities…
November 27 at 2:44pm · Unlike · 3

Something something, “catch the bananas for grandma” soothing something?
November 27 at 7:54pm · Unlike · 2

On the phone with my boyfriend when he rang me to let me know he got to work safely and check if I was awake and up (back when we were dating and living together years ago) he asked me the following.

“So what are you doing?”

It was met with my reply.

“Sharpening the swords”

We had no swords and I was still in bed half asleep.
November 27 at 7:58pm · Unlike · 2

I have sat up and said “Flying pig jousting tournaments!” Very proudly
I have no recollection of it but my brothers and ex all agree that it happened
November 27 at 7:59pm · Unlike · 2

A friend I was sharing a bed with at a sleepover once rolled on top of me and just started shouting “cookies!” repeatedly in a slightly ominous tone.
November 27 at 9:37pm · Unlike · 2

My Mom told me about this today. She woke up several weeks ago and could only think in Spanish. Her native language is English. She grew up in the valley in Texas and took Spanish in high school and college, but she’s far from fluent. Anyway, she woke up about an hour before her alarm went off and could only think in Spanish. She recognized that she couldn’t go to work that way and decided she needed to lie back down and get her English back before she got out of bed.
November 27 at 10:00pm · Unlike · 4

Moyer Spiders!
November 27 at 10:01pm · Unlike · 1

Um, once, my ex-boyfriend told me I kept telling him to “cheat the old lady”.
November 27 at 10:25pm · Unlike · 2

My mom types in her sleep and talks with customers
November 27 at 11:00pm · Unlike · 3

My husband uses my hipbone as a guitar in his sleep.
November 27 at 11:19pm · Unlike · 4

My husband said, “Don’t put the children on the rack.” I answered him (awake) and said, “Why would I put the children on a rack?” He replied, “You know, while we’re moving.” I have no idea what he was dreaming about, but at the time we had no children.
November 28 at 9:47pm · Like · 2

I keep telling my husband that I am pregnant.
November 28 at 10:32pm · Like · 2

I once got mad at my ex because I had dreamed that he had lost papers I needed to sign and was yelling at him about it in the middle of the night.
November 28 at 10:34pm · Like

“Stefanee, the fish! The fish, Stefanee!” and “That’s epic.”
November 28 at 11:30pm · Like

No, no! Don’t throw the pepper shaker! You’ll hurt it, and then she’ll die!
November 29 at 12:55am · Like

It’s kinda like a ballet.
November 26 at 6:12pm · Unlike · 1

I’m never going to finish all my homework. (True story-I had been out of school for well over 6 years.)
November 26 at 6:18pm · Unlike · 1

You don’t like children? That’s crazy!
November 26 at 6:52pm · Unlike · 1

If you slide down the bannister, there’s an apple at the end. (from my now 18 yr old when he was about 7)
November 26 at 6:53pm · Unlike · 2

But I don’t want waffles.
November 26 at 6:54pm · Unlike · 1

They’re going to reposses my macaroni!
November 26 at 7:33pm · Unlike · 1

My best friend Sara once talked about a spaghetti monster.
November 26 at 9:19pm · Unlike · 1

According to my mom, one night when my cousin and I were sleeping on the couch, she picked up the nearby trash can offered it to me asking if I wanted popcorn and I said no.
November 26 at 9:27pm · Unlike · 2


So, there you have it, more blog than you could ever ask for. This was too much fun and I got quite a few good ones for my story (and stories yet to come). I have to say though, my favorite has to be “Wolverine, no.” I really want to know what that dream was about.

What was your favorite?

What kind of craziness have you heard at night?

Also, I got several recommendations to visit another blog called Sleep Talking. Apparently, a loving wife has decided to record and blog about her husbands Nighttime utterances. I haven’t had a chance listen to much of what’s on there because, you know,  Nano.

So I’ll leave you with a little something I found in my research of sleep talking.

Or perhaps you’d rather hear the original.


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